Sexy, classy French poodle...

I was booked to be on FOX 25’s morning show this Thursday…they’re interviewing me about my new book, “What was God Thinking?!” When I found out, my first thoughts were… “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” and… “HOW DO I DO MY HAIR AND MAKEUP?” I know, I know, it’s not about the physical. Sometimes, old thoughts die hard…

When I announced it on Facebook, my FB friends were so very kind and generous with their loving support. One offered to “style” me with new clothes…another with jewelry…another offered a new hairdo (cool, because I’ve had the same hairstyle since high school…) and my cousin (a professional make-up artist) offered to show me how to apply “camera-ready makeup”! Who even knew there WAS such a thing?

Last Thursday was “MY MAKEOVER DAY”. I started out at 8am….ready for my “hair” makeover. She foiled, colored, then showed me the trick to getting a more mature “sexy, classy” style. I must first tell you, I don’t spend a lot of time on my hair…a little gel…toss it with my fingers as I dry it, hang head upside down for more volume, and apply some really strong hairspray and I’m good to go in 2 ½ minutes. Not anymore, in order to have this mature “sexy, classy” look, she used a fine mist hair spray, silicone gel, and TWO different sizes of curling irons! I loved how it came out…but I felt a tad panicked, wondering if I could do this on my own…it’s a bit overwhelming…dry, then spray, curl this way, up and over… toss, toss…curl that way. Armed with a shopping list, next stop was Target…$60 later, and an armful of hair necessities, I’m good to go….I think.

Next on the agenda was to Black & White to get a royal blue sweater (yes, at a black and white store) that I saw my friend Rosie was wearing last week and looooved it! It would be perfect for the TV interview. You know you’re in trouble when you’re assigned a “personal assistant” (I named her that)…when you walk in. I picked out a few things and she picked out more…ooh, how fun. She said, “Remember, when you try anything on, come on out and show us (‘scuse me…show “US”?? I didn’t.) Well, I loved the blue sweater, as well as 2 more outfits, a dress and a cute pair of black high heels (not that they’d be seen on camera…) My heart sank as she rang up my purchases…and she announced the total. Silently, I began arguing with myself…”Sandy, you only came in for one item…stay focused…” “but you’ve also got the book launch and an important fundraiser coming up…it’s only money…AND you saved $60 with the coupon she let you use…” The second voice won, as I walked out with 2 fancy bags.

Next stop, Beauty and Main, which was conveniently located right near Black & White. I loved being able to spend time with my cousin. Sitting on the high stool, I knew I was in trouble when she put her glasses on and began examining my face. “What do you use for facial cleanser, Sandy?” Now I start to sweat, because I don’t have a good answer, and I suddenly understand what it must be like to go to confession. I can’t tell her I use Irish Spring, (manly, yes, but I like it too), but sitting on this confessional stool, I cannot lie. The look on her face makes me think it’s not the best choice for my face, but she still is sweet and smiling at me. I relax. “How about for moisturizer…toner…concealer…foundation…” I sweat more, feeling very vulnerable, as I explain to her that my typical makeup relies on a few items only: Nivea moisturizer; and Revlon blush, mascara, and eyeliner. PERIOD. Sixty seconds and I’m done! Eye shadow appears only if I’m going out at night…and lipstick is applied in my car as I drive. “Let me show you from start to finish…what would be good for you…” she says as she’s gently taking my makeup off, and applying moisturizer on, each with their own happy little sponge! (I don’t dare tell her that I never take my mascara off…she’ll know now though…lol) I feel so pampered…then comes a skin/pore protector…an eye-shadow base for long lasting eye shadow look…then my eyebrows are lined, my eyelashes are curled, foundation, under eye concealer, 4 different eye shadows (EACH applied with a different type of brush…who knew??), eyeliner, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, gloss, finishing powder, and…a bronzer. Phew, I need a nap! I was feeling a tad overwhelmed, when one of the women who worked there yelled over to me, “WOW…I just I LOVE your hair!” Hmmm…must be the sexy, classy new look I’m sporting! That perked me up a bit.

I honestly like this new look she gave me, but as someone who doesn’t like to read directions, and has a touch of adult onset ADD, my biggest concern is that I will have NO clue how to duplicate this. Not to worry, she says, as she takes out a line drawing of an eye…and details every bit of what she used, AND colored the eye with all the colors she used. Loved it…and left $200 later, after purchasing many of the products (including all the brushes needed). I can do this!

The next day, it was time to practice. I failed miserably with my hair. It looked like I’d just given myself a bad perm! Can you say “sexy, classy French poodle”? (not quite the look I was going for) The makeup came out pretty good, but I’ve decided I now need a bigger bureau to hold all my new skin care products and makeup, and a new bathroom to give me room to spread all my tools and perform my hair duties. I’ve also decided to return the black heels, as I walked around in them (at home…didn’t think to do that in the store…duh!), my left heel kept popping out. And, the blue sweater…that’s going back too…it truly looked much better on Rosie.
 
So, here’s what I’ve realized about the whole experience:
The experience was fun…felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz getting primped for the day. But, the main message in my book is that we are loved exactly where we are at…so, I’m going to show up for the FOX25 interview as me…and speak from my heart…because that is who I am. And if my hair and makeup come out good that day, even better. But if you happen to see a French Poodle with a “sexy, classy” look on the FOX morning show this Thursday, listen to her message anyway…it’s from the heart. :)